Appreciation For People Makes The World a Better Place

Soon after my discharge from Rogers, I started to feel this deep appreciation for certain people. It is something I have rarely felt before.

It’s a feeling that makes me want to run up to someone, envelop them in a warm hug, and let them know how much their existence means to me. I wish there were words to describe how the little things they do, impact my life as a whole, despite how meaningless or effortless they might appear to other people. Some people need to hear it, and I have made it a strong habit to let people know repeatedly that they mean something.

I don’t do it just for the sake of making them feel good about themselves and the things they do, but rather because it takes a weight off of my shoulders and rewards me by making me feel like I have done something good.

To me, people seem to get the most benefit out of their life when they are grateful for the people who they have came in contact with throughout it.

As Carl Rogers put it, “The good life is a process, not a state of being.”

That is a quote I try to live by. For those of you who seem to be struggling, and who are by far completely over people claiming that “things get better”, be sure you are aware that time heals most things. Perhaps you haven’t met the one person who will change your life for the better. Granted, that doesn’t mean they are not out there.

Maybe, if you haven’t met that person, that person is you.

~

“It happens like this.

One day you meet someone and for some inexplicable reason, you feel more connected to this stranger than anyone else–closer to them than your closest family. Perhaps this person carries within them an angel–one sent to you for some higher purpose; to teach you an important lesson or to keep you safe during a perilous time. What you must do is trust in them–even if they come hand in hand with pain or suffering–the reason for their presence will become clear in due time.

Though here is a word of warning–you may grow to love this person but remember they are not yours to keep. Their purpose isn’t to save you but to show you how to save yourself. And once this is fulfilled; the halo lifts and the angel leaves their body as the person exits your life. They will be a stranger to you once more.”

~ Lang Leav

I’d Like to Thank Liz, a Nurse Who Saved My Life

Before I proceed to explain everything that happened, I would like to start by stating that there are several people who would claim I am taking this way too far, but who are also not enjoying their life as much I am. Sucks to suck. :)

* * *

On December tenth, I was admitted to Rogers Memorial hospital once again. I thought I was done with self harm and feeling sorry for myself, but clearly I was unstable and had to get help. I broke down in front of Ms. Berndt, who then contacted the school social worker and blah blah blah… I ended up trapped in a prison that I couldn’t wait to get out of so I could die.

But anyway, At the hospital I met Liz, a nurse who is inspiring to say the least, and has definitely changed my life. From the first time I met her, I could feel the happiness radiating from her. By staying positive and maintaining a bright smile, she infected me with positive energy. In addition, she also spent a generous amount of time (balancing her documented work with the more personal part of her job) sitting by me in the doorway of my room, talking to me about nothing in particular or arguing with me about the positives in life. It seemed to me that she was dedicated to her job of helping people through their dark times, and relentlessly put out effort to drill good thoughts through my head. She also demonstrated how things really do get better, how smiling can make a difference in your life as well as someone else’s, and how not everyone in today’s world is out to screw you over.

I have made several attempts to thank her, however, due to some rules, I am not allowed contact with staff after discharge. That won’t stop me from trying, as I am a huge believer of thanking people face-to-face. I even went as far as sending Ellen Degeneres a message explaining that I need some help to give back to her. If anyone who reads this happens to know how to get in touch with her, please pass along this message for me.

Before even entering the hospital, I had the thought in mind that the moment I was discharged, I was going to head straight into my house, look for my father’s gun, and shoot myself on the spot. After passing through Liz’s gauntlet of good vibes, Those thoughts were scared off and no longer existed. I am happy to say that my future has become a whole lot brighter. Liz has helped me begin to love myself again, if I ever had, and began my push to truly inspire people. Simply by being herself, she has managed to accomplish what seemed to be an impossible task: saving my life and teaching me how to help myself.

For that, Liz, I thank you. And if you ever happen to come across this, I want you to be be aware of how much you’ve inspired me. I was wrong if I told you that not everyone can be saved or that it takes to long to get better. Sometimes, all you need is a little push. After all, flying is just throwing yourself and the ground and missing.

Keep smiling, it save lives.