Stay Strong

Today at school I almost broke down crying.

I felt like crap, was forced to go to my moms house, realized I’ve gotten so antisocial that everyone thinks I’m quiet and shy.

I don’t want to be like this. I want my old self back. The one that was exciting, loud, funny, and always knew what to say. Now I’m to swallowed up in school and life that I can’t even make time for the people I love.

I’m a disaster.

But, on the bright side, my wrists have been clean through this whole situation. Someone promised me that they wouldn’t make me tell my parents if I never did it again, and I promised them I wouldn’t let them down.

I know that doesn’t fix anything, I’m smarter than that.

And just a few more days for the results…

– Amy

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12 thoughts on “Stay Strong

  1. Amy, try this when that need arises, if you can’t shake it. suck on a lemon. not just for a moment, but long enough for it to replace the need, to cut. even salt.. and don’t swallow it. yuck. :-) it works well for some people. Or an ice cube, not to eat, but use it instead of something sharp. (please)

    But I am happy you have been able to keep that promise. It is truly wonderful.

    crying is ok you know, it lets frustration out, but you usually feel bad afterwards.

    *sneaks a hug*

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    1. Amy

      I never feel the need to cut anymore. I realized its a horrible way to deal with things and even cringe now when I think of someone else doing that to themselves. I just hold all of my anger and sadness in, even though that’s not to much better. I don’t have time to cope with it so I just kinda keep everything inside.
      And I’m almost unable to cry at this point. It’s become such a habit to hold it in that i can’t even do it anymore.
      *hugs back*

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    1. Amy

      I’ve been clean for months now:)
      Not really… we barley talk… even if we need to do something or go somewhere we don’t talk. We just mentally communicate. But not on this level.

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      1. maybe you should give him a try. sit him down and tell him you need some help, you want to unwind a bit. He sounds terrific, I think he may surprise you. If you mentally communicate with him, it is a sign you are close. tell him you are serious.

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  2. Danielle Gosline

    Amy, I’m always here if you need to talk :) You have my number, so if you ever need anything just text/call me. I know we haven’t talked for awhile, but I still care about you! I miss you, stay strong! Love you girly! <3
    -Danielle

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