My Heart Hurts

I’m all confused and stuff. I hurt but I really have no way out of it. Either way I go it’ll end up tearing me apart.

During my ELO today, I was so overwhelmed with thoughts that I wrote Love/Hate letter to a bunch of people. It cleared my head a great deal, but I have to shred those before someone reads them. I don’t want to get yelled at.

Speaking of school related issues, my MAP test scores are steadily going down. (from 251 to 247, then down to 242) I know exactly why, too. I’m confident that it’s not because I’m dumb. In fact, I know it’s not. I know the material, and even if I don’t I know there’s an easy way to figure it out. I can do this, I’m intelligent enough to do this. But  something in my brain just isn’t clicking. Once I see the problem and try to figure it out, it’s like a wall is suddenly put in front of me. My mindpower’s just blocked. It’s like a glass wall, actually, because I can see what I need to do, I just can’t do it. And they’re careless mistakes, they really are. I make these careless mistakes all the time. When I’m typing, words are rarely typed right the first time. I get the letters right, but the order of them is wrong. It’s happening more frequently and I hate it. It’s also happening around the  house. I’ll forget to do something so simple, and then I get yelled at after the  fact, when really I have no memory of it. This is getting worse; I never used to be like this.

Also, we’re paying $1400 out-of-pocket for this psychological testing, of which, the results got delayed two weeks because of financial issues. I was supposed too get the results today.

This post is getting way off topic.

Another reason my heart hurts because I really, really, REALLY, REALLY…………………. want a hug from Jenna Marbles.

Seriously.

I think that if she ever hugged me, I would melt into a big puddle of sexual. And proceed to cry tears of joy.

I love her almost as much as I love…

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Pandas.

 

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2 thoughts on “My Heart Hurts

  1. Hi Amy, :-)

    I know things look tough. but they will get better. You know, sometimes when you are very bright, normal things are just boring, so you sort of skip over them. And yes there are other things too, and those will get better too. And as you get older (and you can’t help that) some of those things will be easier to handle. You know, you are doing great! I don’t even know you, but I know that you are doing great. Things may go slow, and there may even be some meds… but that will help too.

    I am not Jenna, but *hugggggs*

    you hang in there, ok?

    Like

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