Dude, You’re Pissing Me Off

I’m so pissed off.

I told my dad to take me back to my mom’s on his way to work so I could get ready for swim practice.

He forgot about me.

Now the swim team’s pissed at me and they’re giving me ways that it could’ve worked out. I’m fucking sorry.

I need everyone to shut up. My brain hurts and I can feel the depression coming back. Now is not the time. I’m starting to get pissed at every little thing and I feel so unwelcome… I know that feeling, and I hate it.

What makes it worse is when people constantly rip on you (not even in a joking way, trust me.) and you’re just sitting there reading the insults, slowly being convinced it’s true. It really pisses me of when people say “Stop acting like you mother.”

That’s unimaginably offensive.

I do more and try harder than that woman ever has in her life. Just because I’m not feeling good and don’t feel like doing anything doesn’t mean I’m a lazy piece of shit.

I’m not ready for school, either. That has me more stressed out. I don’t have money for anything. I need:

  • New shoes
  • School clothes
  • School supplies
  • Swim suit
  • Swim cap
  • Money for a team swim suit
  • Running shoes

by August 13th.

My mom’s car doesn’t even work because we don’t have money to fix that. Now I need to pay my brother to drive me around. Ha, I’m broke.

And, on top of that, I need to decide whether I want to be able to ride my bike places and see my friends while living at my mom’s house, or be happy almost all the time and be able to concentrate while living at my dads house on the other side of the fucking world.

What the fuck. Help me.

-Amy

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