Things I Do When I’m Bored

Because I’m forced to live at my mom’s, I get bored a lot. Having a really short attention span doesn’t help either. So here is a list of weird crap I do when I’m bored.

Send weird texts

Okay, I know everyone texts. But I’m one of those people who can’t text and do something productive at the same time. That’s why when someone’s texting me and I’m busy, I’ll take a million years to respond. If I respond right away, that clearly means I’m bored. If I send you wierd texts, however, that means I’m really comfortable with you and I’m extremely bored. Consider yourself special.

While I’m on this subject, let me make it clear that “lol” or “haha lmfao” are not adequate responses if I just sent you a story that’s three texts long. I put all my time into trying to keep the conversation going, and you just stop it by saying lol. No. 

Stare at the dog when it’s eating to make it uncomfortable

There is nothing more entertaining than a dog who is creeped out. I’m not talking about your worst enemy, not that kind of dog. (Try to creep that dog out, and you’ll end up with a restraining order.)

But if you stare at your dog when it’s eating, it’ll get really nervous and start eating fast. Then it’ll give you nervous glances over it’s shoulder. Am I weird for finding that entertaining? It’s like staring at someone when you’re alone with them in an elevator, just to see their reaction. It’s freakin’ hilarious.

Attempt to solve a Rubiks Cube 

The first time I solved it was out of pure boredom. It took a total of  14 hours of boredom and distraction. But after I solved it, I felt smarticle. I have attempted to solve it again, but I only got two colors finished.

Facebook

This is self explanitory. You log on because you’re bored, log off because you’re bored, then remain bored and log back on.

Pretend to be blind

Try it, it’s fun. Attempt in public for best results.

Doing this gives you an excuse to hit people. It also gives you an excuse to knock over stuff, awkwardly feel people’s face, and shoplift.

Play with matches

Fire is pretty. Little things are cute. Things on a stick are awesome. Therefore, little fire on a stick is AMAZING. Just don’t kill anyone. Because then you’ll be sent to jail and they don’t let you have matches there.

Squish a loaf of bread

Yes, squishing a loaf of bread is entertaining. I prefer to squish the individual pieces of bread, then burn them in a toaster. Or with a match.

 Shaping a piece of bread into something inappropriate and throwing it at your brother is fun too. Especially when it hits him in the face.

Cheer up a potato

You know what? These are getting progressively weirder. I think maybe it’s time to just stop.

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