Getting Worse

My ADD sypmtoms have been getting worse the past few weeks. Apparently they get worse as you get older. I have a more sudden need to run around and fidget and stuff and I’m almost completely unable to focus on stuff. Yesterday I almost didn’t come to school because I couldn’t focus enough to even get ready for school.

You may not know , but there are two types of ADHD :

ADHD-I and ADHD-H. I’ll just copy and paste some stuff from Wikipedia. I’m sure you’re smart enough to figure this stuff out.

Inattentive Type ADHD-I…………………………….Hyperactive Type ADHD-H

In children:

  • Forgetful during daily activities
  • Easily distracted by extraneous stimuli
  • Losing important items (e.g. pencils, homework, toys, etc.)
  • Not listening and not responding to name being called out
  • Unable to focus on tasks at hand, cannot sustain attention in activities
  • Avoids or dislikes tasks requiring sustained mental effort
  • Makes careless mistakes by failing to pay attention to details
  • Difficulty organizing tasks and activities
  • Always asking for attention
  • Fails to follow-through on complex instructions and tasks (e.g. homework, chores, etc.)
In children:

  • Squirms and fidgets (with hands and/or feet)
  • Cannot sit still
  • Cannot play quietly or engage in leisurely activities
  • Talks excessively
  • Runs and climbs excessively
  • Always on the go, as if “driven by a motor”
  • Cannot wait for their turn
  • Blurts out answers
  • Intrudes on others and interrupts conversations
In adults, these evolve into:

  • Procrastination
  • Indecision, difficulty recalling and organizing details required for a task
  • Poor time management, losing track of time
  • Avoiding tasks or jobs that require sustained attention
  • Difficulty initiating tasks
  • Difficulty completing and following through on tasks
  • Difficulty multitasking
  • Difficulty shifting attention from one task to another
In adults:

  • Chooses highly active, stimulating jobs
  • Avoids situations with low physical activity or sedentary work
  • May choose to work long hours or two jobs
  • Seeks constant activity
  • Easily bored
  • Impatient
  • Intolerant to frustration, easily irritated
  • Impulsive, snap decisions and irresponsible behaviors
  • Loses temper easily, angers quickly

ADHD-H describes my Uncle Scott and cousin.

It also describes my dad and brother, however their symptoms are controlled.

I think I’m somewhere in the middle. This runs in the family. See?

My mind is all over the place…

By the way, who reads this anyway?

Life Lessons. Sort Of.

I’ve been thinking, it’s near the end of the school year and for me, at least, so many things have changed. So what has changed this year for you? I know a lot of people have changed, some for the better, some for the worse… What do you think? What are some things you’ve learned? And I’m not talking about academically, because the world knows we havn’t learned anything from Mr. Skonecki.

Also, I hope you don’t mind the pretty colors. That’s what we do here.

In my life, things that have changed are:

– I’m ALOT  more mature and no longer get all depressed when something doesn’t go my way. In fact, I was looking through some of my older posts, and Mr. Skonecki commented on one and said “Sometimes things don’t go as planned.” And I just thought, NO SHIT. I’ve learned that now.

– Jason has a big hole in his leg. It wasn’t there in the beginning of the year and I didn’t put it there, a car did. He says that because that hole is there, he is now a man lady. (Put two and two together, I’m not going to spell it out.)

– My dad is in love and stuff. Yeah.

– Emily and I are much closer. Jason’s car accident made everyone closer, probably because we realized that it’s better to get closer to people and enjoy them while we can instead of running away from love in fear of getting hurt. It’s worth the risk.

– I am literally stronger. I notice things like that. I think it’s from working out to fit into my graduation dress. (That I don’t have yet.)

I’ve also learned things from other people. Such as:

(Lee taught me this)

-It’s okay to be fricken weird and listen to hipster music all the time. Then cool people will see that they are just as weird/awesome as you are and then we’ll all go ride magical llamas to the end of a rainbow together. Simple. Before I met Ally, I cared too much about what people thought of me. I was also sane.

-Thanks to her I also learned that I could possibly have ADD. The only reason I was even suspicious about it is because we took an ADD test when I went over to her house. But, knowing her, she doesn’t remember that. Strange duck.

(Monty Python taught me this)

-I have learned more about astronomy from Monty Python than I have from Mr. Skonecki.

-I have also learned a lot more about sex from Monty Python than I have in sex ed. I don’t think I should post a video for that.

(I taught myself this)

-I know how to play guitar thanks to me, myself, and I. 

-I also learned that Text Me Back – YFM uses the same notes as I Will Follow You Into The Dark – Death Cab For Cutie.

-It is very cruel to name an ant and then kill it. That one I kind of learned from Maddie, though.

That’s all. Watch the videos and stuff.

No one reads this anymore. You guys are getting lazy.

Random Crap Tuesday 5/29

Over the weekend I went to Emily’s and we video chatted with Morgan (a.k.a. murf.E) for a while. He was busy working on the music video for his new song, but he made time for us because we’re awesome. In the process, Emily and I drank three Monsters and were somehow still tired. Morgan fell asleep while we were skyping him, and I fell asleep shortly after. Apparently Emily’s monster kicked after everyone else fell asleep, but mine never did. Am I immune to it or something? It’s so weird.

Okay, here’s the video. I’m warning you, it’s completely random, but listen to the whole thing.

And now, random pictures I discovered on my computer.

Ew. These are all sappy and motivational and stuff. It makes me want to puke.

 And those all have to do with stuff that relates to school. I guess we can settle for Marvin the sandwich turtle, then. Marvin likes potatoes and cheese. Fear him.

**************

I just want to make people aware of this, so here is a video I saw as an ad on a Youtube video. It’s disturbing, so don’t watch if you cant stand disgusting stuff. But it’s so sad…

4 Chords – Axis of Awesome

About a week ago, I was desperately trying to find a good song on Pandora, when  I came across a song called 4 Chords by Axis of Awesome. Tis amazing. It’s, like, a million awesome songs smashed into one super awesome song. And they’re all played with the same four chords.

SONGS in 4 CHORDS
Journey — “Don’t Stop Believing”
James Blunt — “You’re Beautiful”
Black Eyed Peas — “Where Is the Love”
Alphaville — “Forever Young”
Jason Mraz — “I’m Yours”
Train — “Hey Soul Sister”
The Calling — “Wherever You Will Go”
Elton John — “Can You Feel The Love Tonight” (from The Lion King)
Akon — “Don’t Matter”
John Denver — “Take Me Home, Country Roads”
Lady Gaga — “Paparazzi”
U2 — “With Or Without You”
The Last Goodnight — “Pictures of You”
Maroon Five — “She Will Be Loved”
The Beatles — “Let It Be”
Bob Marley — “No Woman No Cry”
Marcy Playground — “Sex and Candy”
Men At Work — “Land Down Under”
Theme from America’s Funniest Home Videos
Jack Johnson — “Taylor”
Spice Girls — “Two Become One”
A Ha — “Take On Me”
Green Day — “When I Come Around”
Eagle Eye Cherry — “Save Tonight”
Toto — “Africa”
Beyonce — “If I Were A Boy”
Kelly Clarkson — “Behind These Hazel Eyes”
Jason DeRulo — “In My Head”
The Smashing Pumpkins — “Bullet With Butterfly Wings”
Joan Osborne — “One Of Us”
Avril Lavigne — “Complicated”
The Offspring — “Self Esteem”
The Offspring — “You’re Gonna Go Far Kid”
Akon — “Beautiful”
Timberland featuring OneRepublic — “Apologize”
Eminem featuring Rihanna — “Love the Way You Lie”
Bon Jovi — “It’s My Life”
Lady Gaga — “Pokerface”
Aqua — “Barbie Girl”
Red Hot Chili Peppers — “Otherside”
The Gregory Brothers — “Double Rainbow”
MGMT — “Kids”
Andrea Bocelli — “Time To Say Goodbye”
Robert Burns — “Auld Lang Syne”
Five for fighting — “Superman”
The Axis of Awesome — “Birdplane”
Missy Higgins — “Scar”

Llama? Like A Sir.

I have discovered something of value:

The power of music.

Music can bring people down as the artist sings his/her emotions in your ear, forcing you to understand the pain, or music can make people extremely happy. Hell, music can save lives. Say some depressed kid is about to kill himself, when suddenly he finds a song that he can relate to. That song lets the kid know that he is not alone and that others feel his pain too. Spirits finally lifted, the kid goes out and eats a bunch of ice cream. Congrats, life saved.

The End.

Anyway, I know there is one song that alllllllways makes me happy. I smile uncontrollably when I hear it.

Death Cab For Cutie – Stay Young, Go Dancing

Random stuff:

Llama? Llama like a sir.

And the only reason Ally hates Somebody That I Used To Know is because it has the same melody as Baa Baa Black Sheep.

The sad part about that is when I saved it to my desktop, I named it “somebody sampled black sheep”…

Because we’re talking about Gotye and sheep, I have to add this:

Gotye in traffic –

And this:

Yeah…

Always Forward Chain Letters

I think everyone goes through a phase where they think the world is out to get them or nothing is going their way. I was going through that phase a while ago, and now I realize that yeah, nothing was going my way. It still isn’t. My mom’s a psychopath, no one believes I have ADD, I’m failing, and I’m 13 years old and involved with the FBI. (Don’t ask.)

Yet, being a Bloch, I suck it up and laugh it off. I’ve come to the conclusion that I’m just a walking bad luck charm. Everywhere I go, people are getting hurt or bad things are happening to them. Look at my dad, Fred, Jason, Sue, Zeth, Klaus, Courtney (not Crippen) and my grandpa.

That translates into my bad luck because everything that happens to them finds a way to affect me.

I’ve been having bad luck for a while now, maybe two years. Around that time my brother sent me one of those stupid chain letters and I didn’t forward it. It said if I didn’t forward it to ten people, I would have continuous bad luck for seven years. I blew it off and deleted it, and I know now that it was a bad idea. Look what happened.

So, lesson learned, always forward  those stupid emails.

Random Crap Tuesday 5/22

I went roaming around on the Youtube machine and found a song by Gotye. Apparently its about, “…from the perspective of the singer, he’s desperately tying to connect with a person who is emotionally damaged (“your heart’s a mess”) but they wont admit it to him or themselves, most likely as a defense mechanism. The singer pursues the love telling the person they can’t live like this and to let him love them even though he knows he shouldn’t (“makes no sense”). Pursuing a love so blindly when all signs point to tragedy.

So this is what’s running through my mind all day. This damn song. But I love it, because Gotye makes pretty music. :)

Gotye – Hearts A Mess

**************
Pick apart

The pieces of your heart

And let me peer inside

Let me in
Where only your thoughts have been

Let me occupy your mind
As you do mine

You have lost

Too much love
To fear, doubt and distrust

(It’s not enough)
You just threw away the key

To your heart
You don’t get burned

(‘Cause nothing gets through)
It makes it easier
(Easier on you)
But that much more difficult for me
To make you see…

Love ain’t fair
So there you are
My love

Your heart’s a mess
You won’t admit to it
It makes no sense

But I’m desperate to connect

And you, you can’t live like this

Love ain’t safe
You won’t get hurt if you stay chaste
So you can wait
But I don’t wanna waste my love

***************

Why Steve Calls Me Chewie

My dad’s friend, Steve has been calling me Chewie for a few months now, and here’s why:

One night, Steve thought he’d stop by and bring some DVD about drag racing. I didn’t want to watch it, but I did, just to make my dad happy.

I was a little sick, so my voice sounded all crackly and gross.

I was sitting on the couch next to my brother because Steve had stolen my spot. I wasn’t happy with him.

Anyway, Cheaters came on TV and of course they had some of those really odd couples. I’m not really going to list the reasons this certain couple was odd, because there are so many and you just wouldn’t be able to picture them. The cheating couple was so messed up that it made me say, “WOOOOOOOOW.” in one of my weird voices. That, combined with a sick voice that made me sound like Jason hitting puberty, apparently made me sound a lot like Chewbacca. (Or like THIS)

Now, whenever Steve comes over, he’ll greet me with, “Chewie! Chewie! Chewie!”

A few weeks ago when we went midnight bowling and it was my turn, he stood behind me chanting the same thing, trying to mess me up. Unfortunately for him, it only made me do better. Score one for Chewie.

So, yeah. That’s why one of my MANY nicknames is Chewie.

While I’m on the subjects of nicknames, I want everyone to call me Amy from now on. After all, the only reason I was called Amelia is because there was already an Amy in the same class at my old school. I used to only let special people call me Amy, but somehow everyone thinks they’re special. So I’ll let them be.

While I’m on the subject of Steve, tell me why Mr. Skonecki always has to use “Bob and Steve…” as an example? Like, “Say ‘Bob’s a good man and hard worker, but Steve is kind of a slacker.’” and “Who cares if Bob and Steve hold hands while they’re walking down the sidewalk?” Saying that my dad’s name is Bob and his best friend is Steve,

I CARE.

I Love The Internet

I must say, when you’re bored, the internet allows you to discover things. Some things are plain weird, but one of the things I love discovering is new music. Yeah, if I haven’t heard of it, it’s new. Check this shiz out:

Relapse Symphony – Make Your Move

Sing Me Insomnia – Miss Me Now

Lovers Drugs –  Drift Off

Black and Gold – Sam Sparrow  (This one’s actually a few years old.)\