Hiding Behind A Smile

After today, my mind is racing. I feel like I have nothing left to live for anymore. My family has always been falling apart, My friends… they feel like they are worlds away while I’m lost in this sea of disaster.

At night I lie awake thinking, dreaming, and hoping for better things in the future. I try to help  people and be the nicest person I can, I really do, but sometimes I fail. I’m sorry for letting people down and getting on people nerves. As I have said before, I sometimes don’t realize I do it .

Right now, all I need is support. My family I can’t confide in, and I don’t want to. The little bit of family that I want to talk to, I’ll only soon be able to talk to everyday. I lost my boyfriend too, so the only things I have left, my lifelines, are my friends. Now they are so distant. So far away, that their personalities feel cold, like hands pressed against your back, pushing you away. Their eyes scream at me whenever I look at them, their smiles are fake. They are the ones that kept me from leaving Milwaukee… or worse. What do I have to live for now?

I have failed my friends. You have no idea how much that hurts…

What would you do if you knew you could not fail?

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